Friday, June 8, 2007

You can't make this stuff up!

This was a family member of the owner so everything had to go perfect. So, as a young funeral director my boss sent me ahead of everyone else to check the grave site to be sure everything was OK before the procession got there. I drove up in a van and discreetly parked it out of the way yet followed orders and made sure the funeral home Logo was in plain sight.

I walked over to the grave site all the while scanning the area for anything that might have looked out of place, picking up things as I walked. I stepped under the tent and surveyed the chairs to be sure that the chair covers were all dry and that the chairs themselves were in a nice neat row. The flowers had already gotten there and were arranged, so, trying to make a good show to the boss I straightened a few making sure any wilted or dead blooms were out of sight.

I walked over to the grave itself noticing that the lowering device had not yet been put in place, wondering if maybe there was water in the bottom of the grave. When all of a sudden it happened. I started slipping. Well, it felt like I was slipping but what was happening was the ground that I was standing on started caving into the grave. Before I knew what actually happened I found myself sprawled out in the bottom of the grave. I never realized how short I was or how deep graves were until I stood and my head didn't even come close to the top of the grave. Shit!!!!! How do I get out of this one?

I tried to jump, I tried to dig my feet into the side of the grave and climb, I was covered in reddish clay colored slime. By the time the funeral procession arrived I had managed to make a lot more of the grave cave in by trying to get out. My boss walked up and stood there in disbelief. His first words were " why are you in the grave?" Well, duuh! You think I want to be in here? I could hear him explaining to the family that we had an accident and that the soil caved in...Along with me! They asked if I was okay and I answered from the hole that I was fine. Two men helped me out as they struggled to hold in their laughter. We went on with the funeral however we couldn't proceed with the burial just then. As soon as the minister was finished I managed to slip off. You can't imagine how dumb I felt. According to my boss he had never seen anything like it in his life. It turned out in the end that the family was more concerned about me than they were about how I turned Dad's funeral into a circus and all they did was praise us.



MedStudentWife said...

Sometime I have to tell you my story of early days at work & the "guerney" (sp ??) sales men

DeathSweep said...

Funny story? Tell me, I can always use a laugh!