Friday, August 31, 2007

The Carolina Rose


This might sound like a strange post but please, humor me on this one. Every morning before I start my day I spend a little time on my back screened porch just waking up. I'll usually have a crossword puzzle book with me and of course my cigarettes. This small ritual I have helps me get my engine going and also gives me the opportunity to plan my day however most days I feel it would be so much nicer to have a little more time. Time.

I have this bush growing at the side of the steps of my deck that grows like mad every year and it's at the point where it's pregnant looking buds are bursting open daily. It's called a Carolina Rose and has the prettiest pastel pink flowers you could imagine. They open an extremely light color and as the day wears on they continually darken becoming more and more vivid and beautiful. All the while that this is occurring, the rest of the world is going on around it but the cycle continues. The dog across the street runs over and takes a quick pee on the bush and keeps going. Thunderstorms threaten off in the distance and eventually pound it with heavy rain that you would think would tear it to shreds but it eventually perks up. Hummingbirds and bees swarm it and try to take whatever they can from it; they use it. The sun warms it and time progresses. Sometimes heavy winds blow it back and forth making it appear as if it's swinging out of control but it holds on dearly for its life. It may get a little battered looking or weathered but it's beauty is still evident. The users come back and steal what they can before it's gone for good. By nightfall, just when the rose hits the prime of it's life, its most beautiful moment, it begins to fade and within hours shrivels and dies. It's a shame that their blooming period is so short; but another flower usually follows and the same cycle begins all over. It just takes time.

Just like this rose, we're born into this life looking pristine, fresh, new. Beautiful. As time marches on we too are faced with desperation and pleasure; the storms and sunshine in our lives. We too have times when we are abused by things we have no control over; we have the same users after what we have to offer and some just take it with no regard to what they leave behind. Just like this rose we all have our own beauty that shines through no matter what the weather conditions of our life are at the moment. And again, just like this rose we all eventually shrivel and die. It seems to me that the trick is to just hang on when the bad times hit. Oh, it's not easy; that I know. But if we can just get through them, the sun will eventually warm us again and we can continue to grow, to share our inner beauty with others; we have to allow it time. Whether we know it or not we all have admirers; others that can see through the rain battered petals of our existence and still see the beauty inside. We all need to try to remember this and share ourselves...before night falls and we too have to shrivel...and die.

4 comments:

paisley said...

oh my fucking god... that was ao beautiful,,, and to think you have all of that beautiful knowledge growing right there in your own back yard.... i don't believe i have ever seen this bush... and in the event i did i overlooked both its beauty and its "story".. thank you so much for sharing that with me... that was amazing......

Agnes Mildew said...

A really observant analogy of our lives - which appears to compliment the post you wrote later about the policeman.

I'm not sure that I could cope with your job to be honest. Do you have to toughen up in the end? I think every day would leave me in tears.

deathsweep said...

Paisley - "Thank You" for the wonderful words, hearing that from you makes me feel really good...

Agnes - Coping with the job I do is not always an easy task. No matter how hard I try to keep some unevident space between us there are times when you can't help but get wrapped up in their feelings. What I've found though is that the more I let myself feel the more effective I can be in helping beyond the funeral itself and that is what I really find the need to do. For them and me.

DS

LadyBanana said...

That's just lovely, you have wonderful insight...