Thursday, July 26, 2007

Leave my head alone!

I usually try to post something that has some reference to death but this post is a little different. As I hope you know by now, I'm just an ordinary guy and ordinary things happen to me all the time; this is one that's really been eating at me. Today was just another day of the same type of misunderstanding. I don't get it...I always thought I was pretty clear when I explain myself and if you don't quite understand what I have to say I'll go out of my way to further explain what it is that I mean. Sometimes to a point of overkill. Most people (at least to my face) appear as if they are completely understanding of the words I am saying. Not necessarily in agreement with my opinion but there's definitely understanding of the content.

This one particular person I am forced to deal with on a rather consistent basis always manages to misconstrue what I say. It's not a matter of hearing or stupidity I'm sure of that, it's more like this person wears blinders and can only think on a certain plane; theirs. The simplest things become a problem and it's always because this person doesn't listen to what it is that's being said. I wouldn't call myself an overbearing person nor am I person that is too outspoken, I'm fairly calm and always try to phrase what it is I have to say in a completely understandable way yet a certain pair of ears seems to hear me speaking in a foreign tongue. As I read what I have written it almost sounds like a piddly little thing but you can't imagine the frustration it causes as it's happening over and over and over.

I've almost resigned myself to communicate only in writing with this person so that I have proof of what I've said. I just can't help wondering where the problem lies; why there is a problem in the first place. Could it be that this person is trying to drive me mad? If only I didn't have to communicate with them at all life would seem so much easier. OK, I feel better...until of course I have to deal with them again and my words get twisted!


Anonymous said...

I know this sounds annoyingly like trying to go with the simplest explanation, but really if you've canceled out stupidity, deafness, and devious motives, you and this person just seem to be on different wave lengths.

To use a simple analogy, you're both primates, but you're a Bonobo and they are a chimp. You have the same basic language, but some of your body language is being hindered by specialized reactions.

Although, it makes me curious if this person is a woman. It sounds a lot like a woman/man situation.

Isn't it jarring when you realize that logic just isn't enough to effectively communicate with everyone?

I can't stop eating these damn peppermint sugar puffs. All this sugar is making me antsy. Anyway. hope you the best in achieving clarity, but if you can't, at least try appreciate the humor in the situation... In the modern age we have a million ways to help us communicate faster, but none that really help us communicate better.

MedStudentWife said...

I can't even try to reply to this blog.. its way to vague.. but I hear you.. I think

Can I help ? e-mail me.. I may be able to give you some ideas ?? Based on what I do. Not sure, but you have a friend here to talk to :)

How did your "gig" go today ? the drive.. were they happy?

paisley said...

i hear you and have dealt with this often in life... i believe we all assimilate information based mostly on our own belief system, or life experience,, which ever we put the most credence in...

it is indeed unfortunate when this happens... i know...presently,,,i deal with my own mother solely by way of email,, so there is no room for interpretation... the proof is on the page...

thank you for allowing me to see i am not the only one that feels the written word is often the simplest....

MedStudentWife said...

I re-read your blog this morning - I was way too tired when I read it last night.... so it wasn't making much sense to me and my comment really reflects that :0. It was my brain that was vague, and not your blog.

I too have had my share of people that seem to be on a totally different plane of thinking - you say purple and they honestly think you meant green.

I don't think that it is a case that you are not communicating clearly, but rather how they are assembling information and what their contextual framework is.

That to be said, what you are going through is not a piddly little thing, especially if its someone you deal with frequently and especially if it has the potential to hurt you in anyway.

Is there no way you can totally avoid them ? Have you talked to them about your frustration ? Do you think they are doing this to be totally malicious ?

My offer is still open - if you feel you want to drop me a line :)

DeathSweep said...

Thanks for all of the support and possible explanations. Maybe if I just allow myself to nod, smile and think "what an asshole" without letting the crap get to me I might be able to just forget it; put it behind me.