Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Gobble, Gobble, Roar

It is once again that time of year. The mornings are cold, the evenings are cold, frost on the roof as well as the pumpkin. Everywhere you turn you can see signs stating that "Collards" are for sale. It's once again time to watch out for the deer that are running from hunters and leaping in front of your car offering themselves up to be your new hood ornament. Most of the Mums have shot their load and if the country's population of Turkeys could somehow communicate they would have already issued the warning of that fateful day which will soon be upon them. If you look carefully you can occasionally spot one hiding in the woods as you drive by, hoping to escape being dinner, and more thankful than any Plymouth Rockian!

Down the road a piece, man is not the only danger to Turkeys, livestock or pets these days. There is a new gun in town that has been dubbed the "Bolivia Beast". In the past years there have been sightings of the abominable snowman or Bigfoot or whatever you call him where you live, right here in this sleepy little community; perhaps he was a yeti trying to find a better way of life in his retirement. Footprints have been discovered and recorded in the mud, no snow here!

This new threat, the beast, hasn't been spotted in the flesh but it has left the sordid remnants of its havoc. There have been footprints and droppings found in and around the pens where it has killed its prey. No Chihuahua, hound, pit-bull or goat is safe in these parts. To date the only fatalities have been animals which are left outside overnight, but the fear is that the taste of animals blood may somehow lose its delectable attraction and the beast may come hunting humans. Halloween wasn't even the same here because of the fear that kids would be gobbled up! I know a few I should have invited but knowing them they would have been left on the buffet.

At first the press, yes even the local press have their noses in this one! Anyway the press was saying that it was a big feline yet there are no big cats in this area; people began thinking it was an escaped lion or tiger. There is after all a zoo nearby. After a fang count in the local zoo showed that none of its catty characters were missing the new story was that it must have escaped from a circus that was travelling through the area. So the hunt was on for the carnival that was missing its roar but that too proved nothing. Do they even have travelling circuses anymore? I'll tell you, the stories that they come up with around here are sometimes hilarious.

Bottom line is that this year, slightly different than others, we now have something new to be thankful for. We can now be thankful that the "Bolivia Beast" has not knocked on our pen and eaten the turkey that we have been fattening up for ourselves. After all, how else could we dispay or symbolize our thankfulness other than by eating a bird?


MedStudentWife said...

Totally kwel DS :) Tales of the mysterious ... muwwhahhaaa ????

I am going to say a very early "Happy Thanks Giving" to you and your family.

With everything going on here, life is a bit Topsy-turvy and I am loosing tract of days. I'll miss it all together (Fidel will be sad, as I won't be home to cook him a turkey - had to do with one at our Thanks Giving).

Besides which, next week I'll be in B.C. for work & I still don't know if I will have internet.

I really hope your turkey makes it to your table :)

Davidlind said...

Your blog has really come a long way since the last time I visited. That was probably in August of this year. I must admit at that time I didn't think I would come back. It has something to do with a post I read about teeth being missing? But your blog looks very good. That star on top is impressive and you are writing is more interesting to me. You have made it interesting. You know how to be successful don't you?