Monday, November 5, 2007

Lost & Found

As some of you may know, I love people; living people. I have been lucky in my life to have had the honor of assisting many, many people when they truly needed a hand. I consider myself fortunate.

Throughout my 49 years I have worked as a candy salesman, a packager in a bulk mailing factory, I have worked for a company that reproduced graphics; mainly blueprints, I have been an inventory specialist (stocker), I have worked in the Insurance industry, I was partner in a carpet cleaning business, worked in several brokerage firms, several funeral homes. I can Embalm, I can Cremate, I can arrange the most simple to the most elaborate funeral you could ask for or if you prefer I can steam clean your whole house for you. In other words, sometimes it seems as if I've lived a haphazard life.

Of all the things that I've done, what I currently do is the most satisfying, the most fulfilling. I can remember back when I was 15, still in High School, when the most important and exciting things to me were getting high, getting laid and breaking the rules, the law; though not necessarily in that order. If someone had told me then that this is where I would eventually end up I would have told them they were crazy. No way am I going to end up like that. But I did. If someone were to tell me today that tomorrow I'd be washing cars for a living I'd say the same but I now know it could happen.

I read a very good post the other day regarding doors. The opening and closing of doors to be exact, you know how the saying goes, one door closes and another is mysteriously opened. Well, the other day our very own front door opened and in walked the mother of the 13 year old that I had buried some months back. You may remember her, she was the girl involved in an auto accident. Her family, the community, everyone was extremely upset by the loss of this girl; blame was being hurled. Her mother, a single parent, wasn't sure she was going to be able to go on; a huge door in her life had slammed itself closed in her face and she didn't immediately know where to turn.

This day however, she seemed happy enough and explained that she was in the area and wanted to stop in and see me and once again thank me for all I had done; she also wanted me to meet someone. She further went on to tell me that she wanted another of my business cards for her father who also wanted to get in touch with me and somehow thank me. I offered her some coffee and we began to talk about how she was doing. She began talking matter of fact about her newborn and I guess I either had a puzzled or confused look on my face which told her I had no idea what she was talking about. I hadn't known it when we first met but this woman was pregnant at the time that her daughter was killed; she had been for 7 months even though she showed no outward signs of a pregnancy.

She explained, almost apologetically, that when she had first discovered she was pregnant she seriously considered termination but her daughter, her little confidant, talked her out of it. The two of them had gone every step of the pregnancy together and her daughter had even made the decision on what they would name her sister, the baby girl that she would have. When her 13 year old was killed, she then knew that this child she was carrying was special; even more special than anyone could imagine. A chapter in her life had finished with the loss of her daughter; a door had been closed. When her second daughter was born a new door opened affording her a reason to once again live.

As we were talking, her mother, who was with her walked in.....with the baby....she was beautiful; teeny; fresh and pink and smelled like cream. This little door, which had been ajar for the past several months, literally burst open upon her birth and became life's reason for this proud, glowing, mother. This now brings me back to the beginning of this post.

We never know when the good or the bad will start or will stop, we never know when the next door will close on us or when the next will open. All we can count on is that sometime during our existence we will all experience good and bad, joy and pain, and we never know when it's going to hit. Time will tell, you can't have your cake and eat it too, what comes around goes around, don't count your chickens before they are hatched, a bird in the hand......Blah, Blah, Blah.....our lives are lived like animated cliches.

So, in retrospect, all of the doors that opened and closed in my life have led me to where I am today and I hope they will stay stationary for quite some time. If by chance however, there should be some turbulence in my life which causes a slamming sound.....well.....I'll feel lost but I'm sure in time I'll find a new path to take and will make the most of it.


Anonymous said...

This post evokes TONS of comments for me. So, I shall focus...and, it idn't gonna be easy...

1. What a great story.
2. No WONDER I read your blog.
3. I too have done many jobs in my life, but I've never been a fun. director, tho I have considered it for years.
4. As an empath, 1 of the TOP quest. I get is: WHY AM I HERE and What am I supposed to be doing?
5. 1 of the things I most enjoy is how u evaluate your life thru the lives of others. I do the same thing and I do it a lot.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of that 70s song about the seasons of our lives: "To everything turn, turn, turn... there is a time for every purpose under heaven..." I know it was inspired by a bible verse, but I don't know which one. Wonderful post. Absolutely wonderful.

deathsweep said...

Thank you both, I'm glad you liked it...we never know what tomorrow brings so we have to accept today for what it is and simply look for tomorrow to be a better day.


pat said...

Really terrific post. It gave me a lot to think about. Thanks.

Vienne said...

My gosh, this is a very poignant, beautiful post. How special that you were involved in this little miracle personally. I can't imagine this mother's pain. I'm glad the joy of a newborn might ease it a bit.