Thursday, June 17, 2010
The last post I wrote was in February and in it I mentioned that I was feeling better and had some major decisions ahead of me. These decisions I spoke of were not something that I was being forced to decide, they were more like decisions that I knew I needed to make to get on with my life. See...for the past 15 months I have just been doing what I felt was expected of me with little or no regard to what I really wanted from the rest of my life. I'm not saying that anyone told me that I should be doing what I was or wasn't doing, it was more of an expectation that I had placed upon myself. I was living a robotic life which basically was wake up, go to work, come home, eat something, get ready for the next day, go to sleep and start all over again.
I know that I'm not alone in that type of life, that many, many people believe this to be the norm and have done it for many years; but where was it getting me? Closer to death and being miserable while I was doing it? To me, that just didn't seem to be why I am on this earth. Although I know that every minute of any one's life can't be wonderful, there have to be down times when we actually are grunt like, but the longer I continued to follow that pattern, the more it seemed as if it was the right way to go. So I made a break. I couldn't not wash clothes, I couldn't stop eating or cleaning my house, the only part of that cycle that I felt I had a little control over changing was my job and that's where I struck. The majority of you that read this will think I've lost my mind but a week ago Wednesday I simply turned in a resignation effective immediately. In answer to your thoughts, no, I do not have another job lined up, no, I will not be able to collect unemployment and no, so far I don't regret it.
The first few days after I resigned I wondered what I had done to myself and I even thought I might be going nuts. In these times of economic unrest, when many, many, many, people are searching for work and basically eating beans, I threw away a well paying, sort of recession-proof job and opted to be unemployed with really no income. Sounds brilliant doesn't it? Sounds like the actions of a totally sane person right? Well, wrong; it sounds like I've finally flipped my lid, that's what it sounds like.
Right now I'm doing nothing at all, and by the way enjoying it. I do however have lots of time to complete some things I need to get done, I have lots of time to visit some people and places I've wanted to see and go to for some time, I have plenty of time to decide where I want to spend the rest of my life and what I want to do with it when I get there...that's very exciting to me! This may actually force my hand to do what I need to do; again exciting...like a new life...only jobless...but that's fine. For the time being, that's one thing I don't have to concern myself with, well, not too terribly.
So, one down, a few more to go, and by the time I'm through I'll have hit it out of the park!