It's been ten days since my last post and I haven't had the energy or time to write. I'm so tired of Arteriosclerotic Heart Disease, Cerebral Vascular Accidents, Congestive Heart Failure, Coronary Artery Disease, Atherosclerosis, Breast Cancer, Suicide, Murder, Myocardial Infarction's and all the other wonderful shit that takes people down.
You can't begin to imagine how much I want to do this yet how much I hate doing it if that makes sense. I truly look forward to the day when I no longer have to stare death in the face on a daily basis, when I no longer have to see people writhing in pain, when I can come first. It sounds selfish, I know, but believe me, even though it's not "my" pain it can be very exhausting to ones body and mind.
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7 comments:
first off... kick ass new header!!!!! and secondly,,, i do not know how you do it... i have so many of my own demons,, to think that i had to rent space in my head to everyone esle's demons too?? not happening... i just couldn't... i hope they lighten up a little and people stay healthy over there for awhile so you can breathe again......
I so understand how you feel. In so many ways such a rewarding job and yet in others so emotionally draining and heart wrenching.
Is it possible to bring in another partner to free up some time for you? This maybe could allow you to pursue some of your dreams. Perhaps open another business. If I remember, you are in your forties. This is the time it seems we really get restless. Midlife. Take some time for YOU. YOU are so worth it! Remember that!
Jen
You don't sound selfish AT ALL!! I can't imagine all of the emotions you feel in your job. And what's worse is that you don't know what the future holds...I can't imagine having to answer your phone. You have no idea what people are going to say or what you will be dealing with.
In your business your customers always come first...and to me you come first. :)
I hope that you can get some rest soon. Please take care of yourself. *hugs*
Sounds to me like you need some 'me time'...easy to burn out in the business you are in...no pun intended.
Dealing with death every day takes its toll....I wish you time for yourself.
I so know what you mean. I sooo know what you mean.
Compassion fatigue.
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