Nut Case...oops, Cake

The following recipe was created by man, for man, and is thought by some to once be used as an anesthetic but today is just an unwanted necessity. It takes years to make but in my opinion is definitely worth the wait. The end result serves thousands and thousands of people and can last for a lifetime if stored properly.

Ingredients:

2 cups of curiosity

2 cups of fear

1 1/2 gallons of money

3 pounds of education

3 cups of tears

2 3/4 cups of sweat

2 sticks of compassion

1 level cup of sorrow

As much frustration as you can stand ( can cause headaches, nausea, ulcers )

1 pound of patience

1 extra large heart ( minced )

3 cups of love

1 large jar of understanding

1/2 pint of pain

Start with a large bowl, add the curiosity, fear, heart and love; combine well using either a fork or spatula. Next, take a small pinch of the money and add that in; this will help bind the curiosity and fear together. Once you see that its beginning to adhere to the side of the bowl, start adding the education one pound at a time until a thick paste results. At this time you need to add more money into the mix so that you can continue. The mixture will now begin to harden. Simultaneously add part of the tears and sweat until it softens again; from this point on it will remain soft. Add the compassion. Add the sorrow. Add the frustration and the patience. Add the understanding and pain. Finally add the rest of the ingredients, mix well and mold into the shape of a funeral director. Bake continually at 450 degrees for the next 40 years. When you want some, just open the oven and pick at it or pull it apart. Not to worry, it will still be there tomorrow, or next week or 20 years from now at 2 in the morning for your immediate use.

*Caution - this recipe may produce severe side effects if all of the ingredients are not used.